he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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