So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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