Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
