DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
