ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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