I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
false alarm, still single
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