Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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