Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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