I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
