He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize