what if every blade of grass was a penis?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize