do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
