Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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