Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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