Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
