That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
