i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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