I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
