what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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