i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
