i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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