someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I want a musical about memes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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