I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
