would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
