its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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