addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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