Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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