she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
