Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
