So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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