Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.