i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dating After Heartbreak
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.