i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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