1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize