I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
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So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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