my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
