imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Blood and glitter go together right?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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