My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize