we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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