my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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