You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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