i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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