He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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