The maid of honor just puked.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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