Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Where were you when I was single???

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Still in diapers.

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  (617): Where were you when I was single??? (1-617): Still in diapers. http://tfl.nu/ngk8
  Replies (15) Good night (1528) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

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  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
  Replies (14) Good night (488) Bad night (3871)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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  (203): Maybe he just has a boisterous penis http://tfl.nu/s2rt
  Replies (17) Good night (3391) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?

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  (516): Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21? http://tfl.nu/nv55
  Replies (6) Good night (4055) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay

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  (903): Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay http://tfl.nu/z5xx
  Replies (9) Good night (4146) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."

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  (512): You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you." http://tfl.nu/7ipp
  Replies (9) Good night (4228) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

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  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7196) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

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  (845): you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic http://tfl.nu/aiqs
  Replies (4) Good night (2382) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent

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  (+44): In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent http://tfl.nu/3kq5
  Replies (12) Good night (3716) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
  Replies (14) Good night (3817) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.

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  (248): Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift. http://tfl.nu/gpor
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  IM WEARING A FLAG

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  So that's a no to the clothes then

  (613): View more from Ontario

  FLAG

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  (613): IM WEARING A FLAG (1-613): So that's a no to the clothes then (613): FLAG http://tfl.nu/ee8g
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  can i bring anything?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  is there a theme i should know about?

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  (412): can i bring anything? (443): Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer (412): is there a theme i should know about? http://tfl.nu/49rz
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.

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  (858): The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good. http://tfl.nu/j93v
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me

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  (425): I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me http://tfl.nu/ceiy
  Replies (8) Good night (283) Bad night (811)

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