i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
