he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science