You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
