i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels