We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
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Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas