got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
