dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool