he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.