I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure