just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize