I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
