I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
