Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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