dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
