do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
