i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
