I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
