Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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