Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
