he thought i was a dude.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
