two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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