you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
